Seven

I know it has been a long time. Being well enough to write every day was a dream. I still have hope one day it will happen. I took a shower today. Beyond having ME/CFS I also have whats called POTS. And in said shower, I always have blood pooling in my legs. It's uncomfortable at best, and very painful other wise. I have a chair I sit on in the shower, that I use most of the shower. I only have energy to shower every 4 to 5 days. My hair gets gross closer to the next shower date. I wish there was an answer,to look clean, and smell clean. Because there are times when I don't do things, because I would need to shower first. And honestly, I don't have energy to shower and go to the dr. Or grocery shop in an electric cart. My day today has been really exhausting. I slept, and slept, till my dog woke me up to go potty. He does this really adorable thing, he pulls my covers off of me, and makes noises to wake me. It's adorable, but I feel bad he has learned to adapt to the new me. I really wish I wasn't this person I am today. I don't feel like I make a contribution to any one. I just take up air, and space. My poor husband, I feel the most sorry for. He does so much for me. And I am able to do so little for him.