Five

Today has been an abnormally better day for me. I was able to wake up, walk out side, and look at my plants. Then I made french toast. Granted I had to sit to do it, but I did it. Then after my husband left, I expected to fall asleep like I normally do. But today I managed to stay awake for a while longer. I surfed the internet, and facebook. I fell asleep around 2 and woke up close to 4. Now it's 7:30 pm and I am still awake. Which is a good thing. Yes I have been lounging on the couch, but sometimes, you have to just count the small victories in life.

Four

I am sorry I haven't been on. I started this project with the intent of doing this most days, however given the severity of my disease, it's not always possible to get on. I have been sleeping more often than not for a few weeks now. Not always sure why. If I have a sleepless night, I understand sleeping the day away. But when I can sleep all night, and most of the day, it's a bit unsettling. Today went like this. I woke up at 10:00 am, ate a bowl of oatmeal. I felt like I had a bit of energy this morning. So I walked down the stairs and out the back to see how my plants are doing. Surprised to see my watermelon are growing big. That's exciting to me. I came back inside after my short walk, and kissed Scott goodbye. I then just lounged on the couch, and surfed online. I eventually fell asleep about one. I woke back up at 3:30 pm, opened the back door for the dogs to go out, and went to the bathroom myself. Then I ate for lunch a bowl of cereal, Life to be exact. After I lounged again, looking online. I must have fallen back asleep, I woke up at 7:00 pm. I was having a rather bothersome dream about a cousin of mine, trying to kill me. So I was rather sweaty upon awaking. Now it's almost nine here, and I am still surfing online. It's all I can do for the most part. I am tired, still. And in some pain. Sometimes my pain is so much that I wish I could stop existing. I don't cry, haven't been able to in quite some time.I don't know why, but I think that I can't let it out, adds to my pain.  Anyways, that is all for now.

Three

Today consisted of - waking up early, 7:30ish. I had to pee, and then the dogs stated barking, so then I HAD to get up. I took them out, then pee, then let them back in. I went back and laid down. I wasn't able to fall back asleep quickly. My young nephew, who's been spending the night, came in about a half an hour later and asked if I could turn on TV for him. I did, and came back to bed, I fell asleep quickly this time. I was very out of it, my husband tried to wake me a few times, as did my nephew, but my body wasn't having it. My husband was finally able to wake me up, around 10:15 am, by lifting my whole body out of bed. I went to the bathroom, and with the help of my husband, I sat, and made pancakes for us all. Then I laid on the couch, and ate my own. I surfed online for the next hour or so, and then fell asleep. My nephew(s) watched tv while I napped on the couch. The next think I know, my front door swings wide open. It's their elder sister to pick them up. They leave, and I let out the dogs, go to the bathroom, and eat a banana for lunch. I let the dogs back in and go back to laying on the couch. Honestly from the high activity of having the boys the last few days my body is drained more so than normal, and I am in great pain. I lounge on the couch and surf the web. It's now 8:45 pm, and I am still on the couch. This is what my life has come down to. I need to get up to pee, but just don't have the energy to do so yet. The rest of the night will go like this; my husband will get home soon, within a half an hour from work. At this time he will prepare something for dinner. We will eat together on the couch, and watch a few tv shows, all while being on the laptops. Then all of the sudden it's 11:30 and my body cries for the bed. At that time I will go lay down, and fall asleep shortly, about midnight. All to wake up and do it all again.